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Ogden Marathon

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Location:

Provo,UT,USA

Member Since:

Oct 04, 2008

Gender:

Female

Goal Type:

Boston Qualifier

Running Accomplishments:

8 Marathons completed; PR of 3:29.  Hoping to run Boston in next few years if I can ever register before the dang thing fills (have missed the last 2 years because of this).

Short-Term Running Goals:

Hoping to re-qualify for Boston sometime in 2011.  Hoping to hit marathon #10 in 2011.

Long-Term Running Goals:

Run 100 marathons in my lifetime and live to tell the tale.

Personal:

Married.  2 daughters.  Have a love/hate relationship with running.  Hate the first 3 miles of EVERY run without fail and grumble the whole time.  Feel okay during 3-6.  Love 6+ and LOVE how I feel when I am done (like I can take on the world and then some!). 

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Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 0.00 Year: 0.00
Race: Ogden Marathon (26.2 Miles) 03:38:00
Total Distance
26.20

So I have not posted in a really, really, really long time but I like reading others' things occasionally and Luz (my running partner) is always telling me I really should post so I can reflect on what I have done and look back at the past to learn from it.  Saturday's Ogden Marathon really freaked me out, so I guess I am trying to grasp at what occurred and figured that as writing is somewhat therapeutic for me, perhaps I will give the blogging another go.

Hmm.  Not sure where to begin.  Felt very confident going in to this race after 5 months of solid training on the Intermediate I Hal Higdon schedule 5 days a week with 2 20 milers only missing 1 day of training for illness in total.  Felt strong and fast.  Race morning came and I went all alone up to the waiting area.  First time for that in a long time as my running partner, Luz, just ran Boston and as no other family or friends were running it.  I met some really nice people up there though and enjoyed chatting with them and waiting around the camp fires for the race to start.  I sipped some Gatorade and ate one bite of wheat bread.  Thirty minutes before race start I took an Immodium.  About the same time my stomach started feeling unsettled--actually just crampy and clenched.  I figured it was nerves and would go away eventually.  The race started and I started out super fast--taking Sasha's advice of course--run fast, faster, and faster as Luz always says.  I ran the first 4 in under 28 minutes.  My 10K time was a new PR of 44:30 (last PR was 46:15 at official July 4th 10k in 2009).  I drank my Gatorade faithfully every 2 miles, but at mile 7 I missed the few Gatorade volunteers and had to go for water instead--big mistake.  Somewhere around mile 8 or 9, my stomach started catching up with me and I kind of felt like crap to be honest.  Lots of cramps and pain but just kept running.  By Mile 12 I had serious bathroom needs so I stopped at Mile 12.6 or so (thank goodness there was no line) and felt better after though I probably lost 2 or 3 minutes there.  I popped another Immodium since it didn't seem to be working quite as well as I was hoping, and kept going.  I hit mile 13 at 1:43--3 minutes slower than my PR at St. George in 2009 when I hit the half point at 1:40.  I started to get a little nervous about my time, then hit the hill at 14.  It wasn't terrible, but my stomach was still feeling awful so I had to walk for about 100 feet to pull it back together.  I just kept hoping for some downhill so I could get some kind of break.  After 14 the downhill started to show up, but I was feeling worse and worse by the minute in my stomach which was totally taking my mind for a whirl.  Usually I consider myself to be very strong mentally and focused, but for some reason today I was freaking out in my head--having a bipolar argument with myself.  "I hurt; I feel like crap; there is no way I can finish this in time to BQ so why not just slow down now--finishing a marathon should be enough, why do I need to BQ."  "You can do this; keep going; you aren't that far behind; just pull it together."  I even started considering what I would tell people when I didn't BQ after the race.  Thoughts and thoughts swirling everywhere; my legs still moving--how I am still not sure--but mentally feeling like I was in a giant vortex of confusion from which I could not surface.  The legs thankfully kept going, but I was watching my time slip further and further away.  I wanted to have 10 miles left with 100 minutes for plenty of cushion; when I BQed for the first time at St. George each mile I gained more and more time, making me feel more and more confident and wanting to run harder and harder as I sealed the deal.  This race was the complete opposite.  With each mile I lost more and more ground and started to believe more and more that I wouldn't be able to make it.  At 10 miles left I had around 90 minutes.  At the 10k point I had about 56 minutes.  I knew it was getting very, very close but to be honest I couldn't push myself any harder.  By 20 miles not only was my stomach still all crampy, but at that point the inevitable pain of the marathon starts to kick in.  At mile 20 all I could think about was getting to LuzyLew.  She said she would try to make it to around mile 24 and run me in.  I started to pray as never before--trying to channel that I needed her.  I knew if I could just make it to 24 in time with about 20 minutes left that she would push/pull/and literally carry me across the finish line if I needed her to.  I rounded the bend at 24 and....she wasn't there.  I wanted to cry and stop, but figured it's all me now.  No choice but to keep going.  I turned a few more corners, and then there she was standing there just waiting for me.  I kind of got choked up and it took me a few seconds just to get my breach back since my throat started constricting.  She quietly fell in pace with me and started encouraging me.  "You can do this.  Dig deep."  I kept looking at my watch--I knew it was going to be so, so close but there was nothing more I could do.  Mile 25 came and I stopped to get a drink, then had to literally grab on to Luz's arm to get going again.  The last stretch was a long mile of stop lights and I knew we only had 6 or 7 minutes to finish it.  It seemed impossible, but we kept running and running and running and running for what seemed like forever.  My clock was at 3:37 and we still had 2 blocks to go.  I started digging deep and running faster and faster--not a 6 minute mile mind you--this was no olympic sprint--but perhaps a sub 8 or so which at the time felt like all I could do, all I had left.  I saw the clock in the distance with about 2 blocks to go but couldn't make out the time.  I kept going and finally could see the red numbers "3:38:00".  I ran and ran and ran and crossed the finish line at a clock time of 3:38:35, then promptly collapsed into the arms of the volunteers all the while saying, "I am fine.  Really, I am great" as I am falling over sideways. 

So the long story short is I did do it.  I qualified for Boston a second time.  Luz says this proves it wasn't a fluke.  I say I am glad I did it so I don't have to stress this summer about requalifying.

All in all, though I am very glad to have qualified, it wasn't the victory I had hoped for and as a result, though I am content with having BQed, I don't feel happy about the race.  I had trained so hard but on race day my body just wasn't there for me and mentally I fell apart when I didn't feel strong like I wanted to.  Lessons learned are many, but to summarize...

1. Don't underestimate the marathon: I think one of the big problems was that this was my 6th marathon and quite simply, I underestimated it physically and mentally, thinking that I had done this so many times before it wouldn't be that big a deal.  Physically I trained well but in the days leading up to the race I didn't sleep much, didn't worry about what I ate, and was still doing crazy speedwork because I felt good (ran my 2 miles the day before the race in sub-14 minutes which is for me, very fast).  Mentally I was not prepared to endure grueling physical pain, times of doubt, times of slow running, and other various breakdowns on the race.  I think that really does take mental preparation or at least that by anticipating the difficulty of the experience, you are better prepared to cope with it.

2.Some days you just have to take what you get and move on: Obviously I wans't happy about my performance, but I still BQed.  I wish I was more excited about it, but I am not because I didn't race my best.  At the same time, I know I have to realize that not every race is going to be perfect, not every race is going to be the best; sometimes you just have to be satisfied with what you got that day and content with showing up, and hopefully generally finishing what you started.

3. Don't let one race or one mile determine your running future: For about half of the race and even after the race all day I was feeling really discouraged about marathons in general, thinking that it was such a bad experience maybe I should quit and not do any more.  Of course this thinking was mostly at miles 16-20 when I wanted to die and was so frustrated with my body, but I was happy to read my personal journal from last October and St. George and see that I had the same thoughts then.  Even over the weekend and on Monday when I was so sore I was doubting my abilities and future as a runner.  Then Tuesday I did my 2 miles.  It was hard and it was slow, but I did it.  Then Wednesday I did 3 miles; it was better and I remembered that I am a runner.  And I am a good runner.  And one race can't change that, and one bad day of running can't take that from you.

4. Let it go: Lastly, I just have to move on and replace the bad experience with a good one.  Ogden is over.  I BQed.  I am not happy with how it went, and it is okay.  Utah Valley is going to be awesome and fun.  I am going to hopefully do a nice solid recovery training schedule, then I am going to run it with Luzylew at a comfortable 9 minute pace and remember why I enjoy running.  Not every run has to be hard and not every run has to be the best.  Sometimes you just run to run.  Thank good ness I remembered that this morning during my 3 mile run while watching Harry Potter on the treadmill and seeing my girls in their pajamas laying on the floor in blankets thinking this was so fun and that their mom is crazy but cool anyway. 

5. Running: And now, for the finale.  Good or bad days aside, I love to run.  I hate it sometimes, but I love it.  I love the challenge.  I love the culture.  I love the people.  I love that my running partner would run back 2 miles for me after doing 13 already only 2 weeks after Boston and be ready to carry me in.  I love that 2 people carried Smooth in so she could BQ.  I love that volunteers come out all day and hand you water and gatorade.  I love that volunteers stand at the finish line and literally catch you as you fall.  I love that my 6 year old daughter is psyched for her first race and that she just outran every kid in her class including the boys at their school's walk-a-thon for the first lap.  I love that my 2 year old sees me in my running clothes every morning and says, "Mommy, running?"  I love that my girls watch me run and want to run too.  I love that my husband is coming back to the sport and wanting to do a marathon this year with me again.  And I love that in this world of billions of people with lives that come and go and so many of us feeling and wondering and wishing that we could make a difference or do something or mean something that marathoning allows me to feel like I am carving out my own worthwhile achievement in this life and hopefully inspiring others to do the same.  So that is why I run and what I ran and why I will keep running...Lifetime goal is 100 marathons.  6 down.  94 to go.  CATH

P.S. So since I haven't posted in about a year, hopefully this long beyond long post makes up for it and no one besides me ever reads it (sorry for the boredom if you did endure through it).

Comments
From RAD on Thu, May 20, 2010 at 16:40:40 from 67.172.229.125

What a GREAT race report! I knew when I saw you and Luz just before the finish that you'd BQ, but I could see the focus/pain on your face. Even though you felt like crap about the race, I think you did a GREAT job. Just think about how much faster you'll be at SGM after a summer of mentally preparing and learning from all of these marathons! NICE WORK!!

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